Who Am I Now?

I consider myself a 90's child including everything from Nirvana to MC Hammer, Simpsons to Married with Children, No Fear to Stussy, and Pogs to the birth of Pokemon.  As a Generation X'er, I felt I understood Bart Simpson and his skateboarding, pranking, dare-deviling, and attitude-ing.  I never went as far as spray painting my name all over the town, but I think my neighbors knew exactly who I was and wondered if I would ever grow up.

I remember one day when the neighbor asked me what I was good at; what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I hadn't really thought about it.  I was living for the now.  I think I gave a shoulder shrug and thought "Who the heck knows".  At least, I hope I thought heck.  Anyways, that conversation kind of unsettled me for a bit, but then I moved on like any teenager would.  Adults don't know anything.  I had a date that night, friends to hang out with, and a game of pool played over the dial-up modem.

Now that I am middle aged, I have had time to reflect on my youth.  I still love to listen to the Beastie Boys, but not around my children.  You know, language. I reminisce about the trouble we should have gotten into, and how my own children don't really have that need to push the limits.  Thank goodness.  I am still a little fearless....OK maybe not so much anymore...wishful thinking.

With the COVID-19 and the Simpsons on Disney+, I have had lots of time to consider if I am still a Bart Simpson or if I have grown into a Homer.  There is no Duff beer for me, and I hopefully treat my wife better than he did to Marge.  But, I am certainly sitting around on the couch too much, quarantined. I seem to have bad luck while my Ned-like neighbor has everything perfect.  Being without a job makes me feel less than perfect, almost Homer-like. 

Even though the Simpsons never grow up, we do.  We change our personas, our views, and our behaviors.  I have become much less invincible and much more sedentary, especially as time slowly ticks by waiting for the world to heal.  With the virus, days seem to be on repeat, just like the episodes of Simpsons. I guess it is time to change the channel and make my own sitcom.  Let's hope it is a rom-com, or at least a comedy, and not a dystopian epic.

-Josh